True self care

I’m Angela, and i would like to talk about self care. I think the majority of  us have heard this term “self care” way too many times! But, what does it actually mean to you? I really had no idea what that word meant, I thought it meant yeah sure make sure you get your nails done once a month kinda stuff! But, true self care is actually putting yourself first, yeah right who has time for that? And I think as a mother we always put our selves last! I was taught after having children you no longer come first, so here we all are feeling totally unappreciated! Because of all the effort we give to our family, we want the same effort in return. We can all laugh at that right! But actually it’s true! I remember my kids being younger, and here I was looking like a mess in the school pickup line and seeing all these other moms completely made up! And here I was basically in pajamas. Because, I had a full schedule, I had to clean the house go to the grocery store and work 40 hours a week and take care of a husband and three kids! How the heck are these woman looking fresh at 2:45pm when I looked like I’ve been on a 3 day drinking binge! So I always thought, I bet they have one of those good husbands that help around the house, and those great kids that actually listen and clean up messes!! So fast forward to my current life, I have came to realize the reason I looked and felt like that was because there was no self care! It was me doing way to much, worrying way to much, focusing on these other moms that were perfect. When in reality all it would take is 5 minutes to turn my life around! Letting my kids take responsibility or my husband. It’s not my job to find a shoe that my son misplaced, that took 45 minutes for me to find while he gazed at the TV. That 45 minutes could had been used for “me” time, where I could actually brush my hair! But instead I’m scrambling around for a lost shoe.. So here I was mad, upset and yelling. The mom and wife I didn’t want to be. Which lead to my first divorce. I felt like I was abandoned with 3 small kids. I wish I could say that my divorce changed my life and here I am perfect and taking on the world! Sad to say but nope, even the second one didn’t teach me that! But, I’m making progress! Now that my kids are almost grown, that’s when it hit me! I thought ok I just been handed a bad deal of husbands right! No, it’s because I never took “me” time! I taught people I come last, my husbands, my children, even family! And of course I’m not the one to rock the boat, I’m the do it all girl remember? So, life changing experience for me, I had to learn the word “NO”! I had to find my value. And the scary part, I had to make people mad! But I was so fed up with the way people treated me. Even my work! And my phrase was, oh well it’s ok! Which of course was absolutely not! Just made me passive aggressive haha! So, where am I going with all this? To remind all of us “do it all” girls, that our kids will not suffer nor will our spouse if we let them take some of the responsibility. No, they won’t look perfect or do it the way we would, but it’s ok! You have to take care of yourself and most importantly, love yourself! If you aren’t loving yourself, you can not honestly love another person! Put value in yourself! Ask for help say NO and take that extra 5 minutes to brush your hair!